31 Day Social Media Fast: This Is The End, Plus Five Lessons

In which I skip out on Instagram and Facebook for the month of March but still allow myself the internet.

Ok, so technically I have not avoided social media completely this month.

I have been on the Instagram five times, once out of necessity but the other four out of something else. Boredom? Curiosity? Procrastination?

Unclear.

Whatever happens next (also unclear), I have learned the following five things from my month-long hiatus from the dark world of social media.

Thing The First: It Really Wasn’t That Bad

I am not sure what I thought might happen if I stopped regularly visiting The Facebook or posting to Instagram. While it’s true that I missed some birthdays, and I am sure some stuff happened that I might have liked to know about, really, I don’t feel deprived or like a piece of me was missing without Facebook and Instagram (I have two Twitter accounts but they were never the issue).

Thing The Second: I Gained Massive Blocks of Time

In the early days, I found myself with a surfeit of time, time I used to take three weeks off (still getting paid).

Yes, you heard that correctly.

By eliminating my consumption of social media, I finished all of the writing work I had on tap for March and the first ten days of April by the end of first week of March and have not written for cash in three weeks.

If I eliminate social media for just one more week in April, I can have three weeks in April off, too.

Huh.

Thing The Third: Social Media Often Makes Me Feel Bad About Myself

To be clear, this is not social media’s fault. But I do blame the Cult of Perfection that exists in social media for perpetuating the notion that everyone’s life is airbrushed beauty and happy families. Even the accounts that have hopped on the “I have social anxiety” bandwagon feature images like polished photographs of a single teardrop falling from a perfectly made-up eye (usually in some exotic locale).

As a person who regularly struggles with actual anxiety, I can tell you that this is not what anxiety looks like. It is sloppy and frantic and sometimes raging, and it most certainly does NOT wear makeup of any kind.

The pictures we post online rarely tell the real story of our lives in all of their messy, complicated glory. And because of that, I sometimes fall prey to Imposter Syndrome – who cares what I have to say? Who wants to look at my shitty pictures?

I have had to sit back and really evaluate for myself what, exactly, I am getting out of my social media, including why I am using it and when. If I am looking for something substantive when I log on, some version of connection, it’s probably best to go for a walk instead. Or take a nap.

Thing The Fourth: Social Media Creates A Lot Of Static

Social media is loud and does not leave much room in my head for other intellectual pursuits.

As my particular friend pointed out to me the other day, even when I am not writing (my own writing, as opposed to the mercenary stuff), there is a lot going on in my brain. There is work beyond placing words on a page, intellectual as well as physical work, and it is invigorating and draining at the same time.

Being off of social media for 30+ days has cleared the static in my mind somewhat. I never realized what shadows it left when I logged off – almost like the shadows burned into pavement and brick walls after the atomic bomb was dropped. While this may seem a dramatic comparison, consider the fact that routine use of social media triggers a threat response in the brain, especially if that social media is confrontational. This means that your brain is in a heightened state of arousal, and not in a sexy way, when on social media. We want likes and validation, and when we don’t get them, the let down has a physiological effect.

The static from social media has cleared. It’s quieter in my brain. This is helpful for not only creative pursuits but also in dealing with what appears to be my actual mid-life crisis (not the artificial one when Dane died, but god help us all if I live to be 96. No thank you).

Thing The Fifth: Well, General Last Thoughts, Really

I didn’t exactly miss social media. I felt more peaceful as I decided what news I wanted to catch up on and which to tune out (for my sanity) instead of passively receiving what came through my Facebook feed. Not having the tyranny of the “like” button and the constant metrics of success measured by social media made for a calmer month, too.

Side note: There are, of course, the metrics of this blog, which has far fewer subscribers than I would like and can be very, very debilitating to my self-esteem. That was in full force as I posted nearly every day and didn’t see a corresponding rise in readership. But as I am not posting to any social media, this is problematic. But I digress.

But at the same time, there are a few people I have connected with on social media that I don’t really know outside of the interwebs, and I miss those people.

Do I miss them in a real way, or just idly as a by-product of knowing them online? Hard to say. I have not had time (incredibly) to really reach out IRL yet, but I am trying to do more of that so that A) I don’t give into my agoraphobic tendencies, and B) I create a network of real human beings to counteract all of the strangers I can’t stand when I walk out of my house.

I felt less inclined to compare myself with others this month, and even with the ultra-shitty weather (So. Freaking. Cold.) I have been out to more readings, art stuff, and performances around town. This is a big fat bonus, and it has helped my writing.

Time away from social media (and the corresponding time off I was able to create for myself) has opened some things up for me, creatively, and I am anxious to keep pursuing those openings.

On the other hand, I have taken way fewer pictures this month than in months prior. Is it that I am not planning on sharing that holds me back? Is that a good thing – I get to be in the moment and not behind a lens – or a bad thing – another form of self-sabotage? Hard to say. I could have pulled out my DSLR and taken “real” pictures but also left that behind, too, this month.

I have not yet made a decision about Instagram, but I am leaning towards deleting my Facebook account. You can download all of your data before you delete your account (which I did), and I feel like it’s time. It’s only making me feel bitter and left out – like the outsider of the cool kids’ clique in middle school.

Thanks to those of you who have followed along with me. If you feel like sharing this on social media, that would be great – there are buttons for that below.

If you decide to take your own little break, I’d love to hear about that, too.