Month: October 2020

Sunday is Funday: Waffles All Day Long

Waffles. Plain, sweet, savory, topped with chicken, or wrapped around a generous
tablespoon of Nutella. No wrong answer.

This has been a helluva a ride, 2020, and we are in for a wild few (more) weeks? Months? Years?

You can still influence that timeframe by voting if you have not already. Make it count by dropping your mail-in ballot in an official ballot box OR donning a haz-mat suit and voting in person. However you do it, VOTE.

But in the meantime we have somehow made it through another week of biblically-proportioned disasters, both natural and manmade. It’s time to rest and reset, preferably with something absolutely delicious.

Pancakes and muffins are for Saturdays, but Sunday means waffles.

Crispy on the outside, soft and steamy on the inside. I eat the first one off the iron with my hands before the lid is even closed on the second one. Drenched in maple syrup, spread with Nutella, or oozing with homemade apple butter.

Sometimes, truthfully, delightfully plain. It is brunch-y goodness.

But here’s my recent discovery: play your cards right, and you can eat waffles all day long. One recipe, minor modifications, and you have breakfast and supper all in one. 

Regular sweet waffles in the morning (ish) with whatever toppings make you feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Then in the afternoon? What about the afternoon?

Chicken and waffles, friend.

Someone has actually looked into the history of chicken and waffles, but all you really need to know is this: it is pretty much the best thing you can put in your face on a Sunday afternoon.

I like mine with a fried chicken breast or thigh (easier to eat, and ease is the rule. Purists insist on the bone. I do not.), a copious drizzle of honey-sriracha sauce, and pickled banana peppers or onions or maybe an apple slaw with vinegar and jalapeno. 

None of these things take long to make. Ten minutes, max, made while the waffles are cooking.

Easy like Sunday morning. And afternoon. As it should be.

Basic waffles

As ever, this recipe is gluten-free, but you can certainly use gluten-packed regular all-purpose flour if you’d like. 

Ingredients

2 cups gluten-free all-purpose flour blend
1/2 tsp. salt
1 T sugar (use 2 T if you are skipping the savory recipe)
3 tsp. baking powder
1 1/2 cups milk
2 eggs, beaten
1/4 cup neutral oil (you can use butter, melted and cooled, but oil is easier)
1 tsp vanilla (sweet version only)

In a medium bowl, mix the first four ingredients (the dry). In a small bowl, combine the last four ingredients (including vanilla if you are only having sweet waffles) and mix until totally combined. Add the wet to dry ingredients and stir until they are no longer lumpy.  I use a whisk and beat out any remaining frustrations from the week. #Smile #Breathe

SAVORY VARIATION

At this point, if you are planning on waffles for brunch and chicken and waffles for football snacks, move half of the waffle batter to a separate container and add 2 T chopped chives or scallions (chives give a less intense zing) and a generous grind or three of black pepper. 

Optional: up to one cup of grated cheese of your choosing. Cheese for me is gilding the lily, so I wouldn’t use it for chicken and waffles. Maybe with a burger and a fried egg. 

Cook the waffles according to the directions on your waffle maker (they all vary, so me giving directions for mine is pointless. You know your own tools, so go with your instincts on this one).

Cook the sweet waffles first, then the savory. In my waffle maker, this makes six to eight waffles, depending on how diligent I am with getting equal amounts ladled for each waffle.

When it’s time for chicken and waffles, here are a few tips:

  • Set up a breading station. Pat the chicken breasts dry. Dip into cornstarch, then a beaten egg, then a mixture of gluten-free all-purpose flour (or almond meal is delicious here) that is seasoned with salt and pepper. Let sit in the ‘fridge while the oil heats.
  • Keep frying oil at 350 degrees. This ensures a crisp coating AND cooked chicken.
  • A medium-sized chicken breast takes between ten and 15 minutes to cook. I am not above cutting one open to check. I find taking an internal temperature to be a dangerous proposition in hot oil, so I do a visual check.
  • Make these vegan. Obvi, skip the chicken and use any egg and plant milk substitute for the waffles themselves. Flax eggs would work here, and a neutral milk will serve your better (almond milk seems to come closest to neutral).

Serve these with a sauce that is equal parts honey and sriracha, or try a sauce of yogurt, Dijon mustard, and a touch of honey. Or drizzle the whole thing with maple syrup. #YourChoice

Happy Halloween: Caramel Apple Jello Shots

Because caramel apple jello shots will give us just the touch of booze
we need heading into the election.

The first year we moved into the house on 35th street, I was completely unprepared for Halloween. Our neighborhood gets between 500 and 700 trick-or-treaters annually, children who come in from other neighborhoods that are not safe to trick-or-treat in or whose neighbors lack the disposable income for bags of candy.

I am 100% here for it. It feels like a warm and loving community when people from across the city visit and chat. It’s a chance to connect with each other, even briefly, and the costumes are often spectacular.

Some neighbors complain about the kids “invading” the neighborhood, but that’s low-key racist and a little too “You kids get off my lawn!” even for me.

That first year, though, I was determined to make a good impression on my neighbors, so I whipped up a batch of caramel apple jello shots and passed them around before the onslaught of costumed ghoulies took over the street.

Instant hit. They taste exactly like caramel apples, they act as a little snack, and they are boozier than it seems like they would be. My neighbors were in awe, and I realized about five minutes in that I should have quadrupled the batch.

Use a melon baller to make these caramel apple jello shots that are deliciously boozed with butterscotch Schnapps (or caramel vodka, as you prefer). I still have some lying around from a caramel apple martini binge, but for the record, you could also buy a smaller bottle so that you won’t have years of the sweet, syrupy stuff lying around.

This year my porch light will be dark. The trick-or-treaters will still come, and I feel badly that I won’t have treats for them, but it’s just not a prudent idea. I would prefer that all of the goblins and fairies (and their parents) are around next year for treats, so I am just going to beg off. COVID can’t last forever.

Grab your ingredients, vote, for fuck’s sake, and give these a try.

Caramel Apple Jello Shots

100% not my recipe. I am copying and pasting verbatim, with links above and here to the original recipe. Why mess with perfection?

Ingredients

6 -8 Granny Smith apples
1⁄2 cup whole milk
1⁄2 cup cold water
1 (3/4 ounce) envelope hot chocolate powder (WITHOUT marshmallows)
1 (1/4 ounce) envelope of Knox unflavored gelatin
1⁄4 cup granulated sugar
2 -4 drops yellow food coloring
1⁄2 cup butterscotch schnapps (your favorite brand) or 1/2 cup caramel vodka (I use Smirnoff Kissed Caramel vodka)
1⁄4 cup lemon juice (to prevent browning of apples)

Method

In a medium saucepan, whisk together the cold water and hot chocolate envelope until no clumps are visible. DO NOT heat yet.

Once mixed thoroughly, sprinkle the envelope of Knox gelatin over the top and LET IT SIT, DO NOT STIR, for 2 minutes.

Turn your stovetop burner to a medium-low setting and completely mix in the gelatin, then add the milk and sugar. Slowly bring the mixture to a low simmer for a few minutes just until the sugar is dissolved. At this point, you can start adding the food coloring to the color you like (edited to add: food coloring is not strictly necessary).

Remove the pan from the heat and let sit until room temperature. Meanwhile, place lemon juice in a small bowl (I only use approx 1/4 cup), and prep the apples by slicing each in half from stem to bottom (do not peel).

Using the smaller end of a melon scoop (if you have the size option), carefully hollow out the inside of the apples, to where you only have approx 1/4 ” outer shell, being careful not to get too close to the outer peel. After carving each apple, dip the hollowed halves in a dish of lemon juice to coat the rim of the apples to prevent browning (you will not taste it). Place each hollowed-out half in muffin tins.

Once the mixture is just warm, you can now stir in the butterscotch Schnapps or caramel vodka. Either will work and there are many brands of both available. Mix well.

Pour enough jello mixture into each hollowed apple shell, being sure that they are level in the muffin tins. Fill to the tops of each. Place in the fridge for a minimum of 4 hours (I have even made them the night before I take them somewhere, without slicing the wedges, and just trimmed the rim of the halved apples if they had browned).

Once set, remove apples from muffin tins and slice each half into 3-4 wedges (depending on the size of your apples). Plate them on whatever tray you plan to serve on and return, loosely covered, to the fridge. (TIP: It is best to cut them just before serving since the freshly cut edges will brown).

Recipe Notes

Make these vegan by using nut milk (almond or cashew) and vegan hot chocolate.

Make these non-alcoholic by using caramel apple hot chocolate. I have only ever seen this delightfulness in single-servings, but perhaps on the interwebs there exists a large container.

Don’t feel like buying a specialized, gross bottle of Schnapps or sickly-sweet vodka? Use regular vodka and caramel hot chocolate. PROBLEM SOLVED.

Crispy Quinoa Granola

Don’t sleep on this delicious, versatile snack/breakfast/garnish.

Look, I’m not gonna say that this is the best thing you’ll put in your mouth all week. I don’t know how you live your life. But if you want a strong contender for that title, this crispy quinoa granola is it.

Packed with protein, filling, slightly sweet, salty, versatile AF. As at home on top of a curried squash soup as it is in a vat of that extra fatty Scandinavian yogurt. Excellent with plain old (non-dairy) milk or eaten dry out of a coffee mug with a spoon as you lie in bed watching cooking shows. #AskMeHowIKnow

Take 30 minutes (largely hands-off) and make yourself happy. You’ll be glad you did.

Crispy Quinoa Granola

(makes about four cups)

Nuts, seeds, and fruit can be subbed in any combination you like. Just keep amounts the same and you’re all good.

Ingredients

1 cup almonds, chopped

1 1/2 cups uncooked quinoa

1 cup pumpkin seeds (I used salted)

3/4 teaspoon salt

1/4 cup honey (see Recipe Notes)

3 tablespoons olive oil

1 cup dried fruit (I used cranberries)

Method

Preheat oven to 300 and line a large rimmed baking tray with parchment paper.

Combine almonds, quinoa, pumpkin seeds, and salt in a large bowl and stir to combine.

Add honey and oil and mix completely. Pour onto baking tray and spread evenly. Use two baking sheets if the mix is more than 1/4″ thick.

Now the fun part, where you need be mildly diligent. Cook for a total of 25 minutes on 300, stirring every 8 minutes or so, then turn the oven temperature up to 350 and cook for another 5 to 10 minutes, stirring every couple of minutes.

Be careful here. Your quinoa will go from a lovely brown to a charred cinder very quickly.

When the quinoa is a nice deep brown, remove from oven. I like to take it off the baking sheet (still on parchment) and set it on my cool marble counters to cool completely.

DO NOT SAMPLE WHEN HOT. The quinoa will cling to your fingertips and lips and burn the shit out of you. Be patient.

Store in an airtight container. This might last longer than a week, but I doubt I will try that out.

Recipe Notes

If you are eliminating added sugar, you can use apple cider syrup instead of honey. Reduce any quantity of apple cider (not juice) by half and use that instead of honey. You can also substitute maple syrup here. If you like a slightly clumpy, sticky granola, honey is your best bet.

The picture above is made with almonds and cranberries. I can imagine that cashew/apricot and walnut/cherry would be delicious.

This is unspiced, but I also imagine that cinnamon would do well here.

Collaborative Effort: Crabcake Egg Rolls With Spicy Pineapple Dipping Sauce

Crabcake egg rolls in collaboration with spicy pineapple dipping sauce. And yes, my crabcake recipe is the best one. #IYDKNYK

Collaboration is a funny thing. Everyone claims to want to do it, but in reality, the bare fact of working with another person to create something together is infinitely challenging. This applies to everything from creative work to child-rearing; it seems as if in collaboration, there is always the potential for someone to feel like they have not been heard, respected, or valued in a partnership.

KWeeks and I are trying to feel our way into creative collaboration. It makes sense that this is a step we would take. Even if our respective creative practices are quite different, many of our sensibilities align, and where they don’t it’s possible to find some fertile ground.

Our first “collaboration,” of sorts, was building a camping platform in New Brunswick, Canada – a bit of a struggle until we figured out that one person needed to be in charge each day. In the end, the final product is something we are both proud of, even if the road to it was sometimes rough.

And now we are feeling our way towards a new collaboration, a creative one, that is embryonic and still being negotiated and not even more than something ethereal. It feels good to think this way, in love and creative partnership with my person. I am most grounded when I have found a home in someone, and KWeeks feels like that.

The idea of “home” comes up frequently in our conversations. KWeeks isn’t exactly nomadic, but he has managed to move at specific times in his life in a way that prevented him from ever feeling too attached to one place.

I, on the other hand, spent the first 25 years of my life in Maryland. I camped every summer in Assateague and roamed the mountains in western Maryland for my formative years. I am attached to this region in a way that is cellular, and much of this is grounded in food of this region, particularly the beautiful swimmers – Maryland blue crab.

It has been two years since I have had crab, and those who know know that fall crab is the best, fatter than the lean crabs of spring and early summer. Years ago, right around this time, I did what was long overdue and created my own crabcake recipe in the form of Maryland Crabcakes With Green Papaya, Carrot, and Jicama Slaw With Pineapple Vinaigrette.

This past weekend, KWeeks and I had a brief sojourn at John Cage Memorial Park in Chance, Maryland, continuing to feel our way towards a potential collaborative project. We picked up two pounds of jumbo lump crab from a roadside stand called How Sweet It Is on the way home, and this recipe is a result of that sweet, delectable bounty from the Chesapeake.

Eating these crabcake egg rolls is a bit like coming home for me – sweet, fresh crab barely held together with minimal binding and just a hint of Old Bay, wrapped in a gluten-free rice wrapper and fried. The spicy sweetness of pineapple and chili complement the crab and the crispy wrapper.

Ultimately, the goal in this life (and the search for home in food, in people, and in place) seems best summed up in a quote from John cage himself:

“Our intention is to affirm this life, not to bring order out of chaos, nor to suggest improvements in creation, but simply to wake up to the very life we’re living, which is so excellent once one gets one’s mind and desires out of its way and lets it act of its own accord.”

Crabcake Egg Rolls With Spicy Pineapple Sauce

(makes 10 spring rolls)

Khristian – not a native Marylander but a smart man nonetheless – reminds me that your crabcakes are only as good as your crab. Make every effort to find local crab, caught in the Bay and picked on the Shore. You’ll be very glad you did.

Ingredients

2 teaspoon Old Bay

¼ cup chopped fresh parsley

1 tablespoon Dijon mustard

1 slice bread without crusts, torn into small bits (see Recipe Notes)

1 tablespoon mayonnaise

1 egg

1 pound jumbo lump crab

10 spring roll wrappers (rice)

½ cup fresh pineapple

½ cup chili garlic sauce (see Recipe Notes)

¼ cup water

Method

Start with the crabcake mixture. You can make this a day ahead if you like, but fresh is best.

Combine Old Bay, parsley, mustard, bread, mayonnaise, and egg in a large bowl. Stir well to combine.

Add crabmeat and mix with your hands very, very gently until the mixture is completely combined. Keep in ‘fridge until ready to make the spring rolls.

For the sauce, combine fresh pineapple, chili sauce, and water in a saucepan. Heat to a simmer, then pop in a blender and blend until smooth. Set aside.

There are multiple ways to fry these. If you have one of those countertop fryers, have at it, and follow the directions for that.

I used a wide, straight-sided saucepan and about two inches of oil. If you are following this method, use a splatter guard, and heat your oil to 350 degrees before you fry.

While your oil is heating, prepare the spring rolls.

FULL DISCLOSURE: My technique SUCKS. It’s ok, because I don’t do this very often (fried or unfried spring rolls), but the more you do it, the better your results will be. So practice by making lots and lots of these.

Grab a wide bowl of hot water. Place the spring roll wrapper in the hot water until it softens – probably not more than 30 seconds. Lay the wrapper on a flat surface, and spoon a generous two tablespoons of the crab just inside the edge closest to you. Roll away from yourself once, fold in the sides, then continue rolling. Tight spring rolls = less chance of bursting and more even browning.

Keep rolling until all the crab is used. Don’t let the spring rolls touch each other while they wait for the frying pan – they will stick and tear each other and then you’ll just have to eat crabcakes.

When your oil is ready, slip spring rolls into their bath, only as many as you can fry at once without them touching. Fry for about five to seven minutes total – until the outside is golden brown.

Remove to a plate covered with paper towels and allow to drain.

Serve HOT, with spicy pineapple sauce on the side.

Recipe Notes

Real Maryland crabcakes use white bread or saltines as a binder. I am a born-and-bred Marylander who happens to be gluten-free, so I used gluten-free bread, and it worked just fine.

You could definitely get high-tech and make your own chili garlic sauce. I chose to leave that to the professionals and used Huy Fong Chili Garlic Sauce, which is delicious and perfect.

Bitter Orange Marmalade

A long soak – the first stage of bitter orange marmalade.

In the alley behind KWeeks’s house there are three Poncirus trifoliata trees. Known more commonly as bitter orange, hardy orange, or sticky orange, it grows well even in cold climates, hardy to -10F.

Which means that these trees, neglected and largely left untended, are perfect for Baltimore, itself often neglected.

I had an entire blog idea in my head for this, but I completely forgot it before I wrote it down. It was a good one, though, genius level, in fact. You’ll just have to take my word for it.

So instead I will share an article I read this week in The Guardian, an article that gives me hope for the future (which is challenging to come by. Hope for the future, not articles from The Guardian.).

Evanston, Illinois, one of the most segregated places in the U.S., has become the first in this country (the world?) to begin the formal process of reparations for slavery.

You should really read the whole article and the story of Robin Rue Simmons and what inspired this transformative, reparative act, but in a nutshell, the city is providing grants to BIPOC people who wish to buy a home (along with support for renovating it) and making plans to build a new school in Ward Five, a historically-Black neighborhood that has never had a school.

They are funding these grants and the school with taxes from the cannabis industry, attempting to re-distribute wealth from a predominantly white-owned business sector that has, again, historically incarcerated Black folks for the very thing that white people are making money off of now (growing and selling weed).

When I read this, I fired off emails to Brandon Scott, Baltimore’s presumptive Democratic mayor, and Larry Hogan, our Republican governor with a history of hating Baltimore. I suggested they work together to legalize recreational cannabis and to put this type of restorative justice in place for the state of Maryland.

Rather than pay developers to tear down entire city blocks and then gentrify the shit out of them so that Black folks can no longer afford to live in their own neighborhoods, let’s lift up those same folks and get them started building generational wealth.

Let’s build/remodel/equip world-class schools and community centers in those same neighborhoods to educate our kids for free – fulfilling the promise of public schools (access to a high-quality, free education).

And let’s open up the cannabis industry in Maryland to BIPOC instead of reserving it for white wealth. This should, of course, come with commuted jail sentences (and an expunged record) for all people currently in jail for cannabis offenses. Full stop.

I have only gotten a form letter back from Hogan and the same from Brandon Scott (his at least said his staff will review my email; Hogan’s basically said, “Thanks for writing.”).

In the meantime, I shook the hell out of those bitter orange trees until the walnut-sized, fuzzy fruits dropped to the ground (mind the two-inch-long spiky thorns as you grab the tree). Their juice is mouth-puckeringly tart, and each tiny fruit has about 146 million seeds. On top of all that, some part of them when you squeeze them for juice is sticky – so sticky that I had to put my cutting board and good knives through the dishwasher to clean them off.

But the effort was worth it. This bitter orange marmalade takes two days to make and rewards the long-suffering with a bright, clean, tart/bitter/sweet spread. I imagine that it will be incredible on a cream scone with a generous slathering of clotted cream or extra-rich butter (cream cheese in a pinch).

I have five pints of this and will hoard it like it’s the last jam on earth, but I can see it making its way into a Victoria sandwich over the winter. If you have a bitter orange in your neighborhood, I highly suggest you shake the tree when it begins to lose its leaves and cover your head for the bitter oranges you shake loose.

Bitter Orange Marmalade

This recipe makes five pints total; I used half-pint jars because I never quite make it through an entire pint of any kind of jam. Know going in that the residue from these oranges is very, very annoyingly sticky. It will all be fine.

Ingredients

1 1/4 pound bitter oranges, well-washed

4 1/4 cups water

1 1/4 pounds sugar

Method

This bitter orange marmalade takes two days to make, and the first day is the soak.

Juice all of the oranges, and then strain the juice into a large jar with a lid. It’s okay if some of the pulp gets into the juice, but your don’t want the seeds in there.

Remove some of the pith – the white part inside the bitter orange – from the orange peel, but don’t be too precious about it. The pith is what helps the marmalade set.

Slice the peel into thin strips and place in the jar with the juice. Add water, stir, then let sit on the counter for 24 hours.

The next day, dump the juice, peels, and water into a large pot, cover, and bring to a low boil for about an hour and a half (or until the peels become translucent and soft). Your house will smell like bitters – antiseptic and pungent – so be warned but don’t worry. This goes away.

Add sugar and stir to dissolve. Bring the mixture back to a low boil, and simmer, uncovered, for about 40 minutes or until the marmalade sets.

Pro-tip: to test the set of the bitter orange marmalade, chill a small plate in the freezer, then spoon some hot marmalade onto the plate. Let cool for a few minutes, then run your finger through the marmalade. If it runs quickly back together, keep cooking. If the marmalade sea remains parted, it’s ready to can.

You can put this in a jar and keep it in the ‘fridge if you’ll eat it all in two weeks or so. Otherwise, plan to can in a water bath. SO EASY.

Bring a large pot of water to boil. Once the water is boiling, sterilize clean canning jars (with fresh lids) but dipping into the water and allowing them to boil for a few minutes. Dip the fresh lids in the water (and any ladles or funnels you’ll use to can. Success = properly sterilized jars).

When the bitter orange marmalade is ready, ladle into prepared jars (a funnel helps), leaving about 1/4 – 1/2″ at the top. Screw lids on loosely. If you don’t have one of those bright green canning baskets that make it easy to put jars in boiling water, sink a dish towel into the bottom of the boiling water so the jars don’t rattle as they boil.

Place jars in boiling water, making sure the water covers the lids by at least 1″.

Boil for 10-15 minutes (longer at higher altitudes), then carefully remove jars and place on a towel on the counter. Leave them completely alone for 24 hours.

You will know you have successfully processed your marmalade when you hear the satisfying “pop” of the center lid being sucked down. If you don’t hear it after 24 hours, press in the center of the lid. If there is some give, then it did not seal. You can attempt to re-process in a clean jar with a fresh lid, or you can put in the ‘fridge and eat the jam in yogurt, on oatmeal, with scones – anywhere you want some interesting, citrus-y goodness.