Category: recipes

Halloween Treats With A Trick: Caramel Apple Jello Shots

And a little something for the adults.
     I have never used a melon baller in my life.
     Shocking but true.
     So it seems fitting that the first time I do use a melon baller is to make these boozy Halloween treats with a wee trick in the form of butterscotch booze (previously purchased, also for the first time, for my caramel apple martini binge, a trend that continues in my house and will until the apple cider runs out and it gets too cold to think of drinking sweet, cold cocktails).
     This year’s Halloween entry is late, and it sort of typifies the way Halloween has worked this year in general. The Teenager is going to a non-costume Halloween party at a friend’s (which seems really strange to me. No costumes at a party on Halloween? Even costume-optional? But I digress.), which turns out to be fine because she couldn’t get her act together enough to figure out what she wanted to be.
     Usually I am a witch because it just fits, and I happen to own tons of black which means that costume shopping for me entails finding/borrowing a witch’s hat.
     But this year I wasn’t feeling it. And The Teenager wasn’t either, which is sort of sad because I told her this is the last year I was footing the Halloween costume bill. This morning (actual Halloween but actually afternoon because she is a teenager and we did spend several hours playing with the dogs and eating doughnuts in her bed this morning), The Teenager is in the shower, getting herself together for the party tonight, and as I melon-balled my way to these delicious treats with a wee trick I started to get a little nostalgic, as I am prone to do when I cook and listen to Hozier.
     She was a pumpkin for her first year, and a bumblebee after that. Then a fairy. Then a couple years get fuzzy (but included her making a costume as a shadow, which was pretty epic), right up until the string of years when I made her various states of dead as a zombie.
 
My sweet little bee, many years ago. 
 
      As The Teenager got older, I started feeling a little weird about being so gleeful about making her look as undead as possible. She pushed it one more year as a dead bride, the best, most disgusting year of her zombie-ness, until she started to branch off into different costumes.
     This year, she is nothing but herself, heading to a party while I stay home in our new house, doling out literally 20 pounds of candy and non-candy treats for allergic children, wearing my Halloween costume alone on the stoop with the dogs barking like crazy people as little trick-or-treaters flood the neighborhood.
     It’s hard not to tie the passing months to The Teenager’s impending departure. Every year she leaves behind a little more of the child she was and begins to step towards her own life. It is inevitable, joyous, and a little sad.  I am going to need these treats with a wee little trick, and I suspect some of the parental chaperones will, as well.

 

     Happy Halloween!

On Writing, Friendship, And The Perfect Pumpkin Doughnut

We probably could have used some doughnuts. #RoughNight


“The urge to write has to be stronger and more compelling than the belief that no one wants to hear your stories.”

I woke up this morning after a wretched night of sleep with this thought fully formed in my head. It was such a revelation to me, so astonishing in its truth, simplicity, and application to my current stage of life that I felt compelled to write it down and share it, thus proving the message itself.

Developing recipes, learning everything as I go (including some very basic cooking skills), finding new culinary projects: that has never been hard.

The hard part, as with everything I have written about life and grief and death and yoga and parenting, is the overwhelming doubt that anyone gives a rat’s ass about what I have to say.

I will pause here to assure my three loyal readers that I am not looking for encouragement or a pat on the back. 

The point is that the act of creation – of food, of words, of art – has to be so terrifyingly urgent as to make incomprehensibly unimportant the doubt of reaching an audience who cares. 

Creation doesn’t care about click-throughs, page views, and bounce rate.

(that has the rhythm of a poem to me)

What cares about those things is doubt, fear, and the thought that someone has done it first, better, and simply MORE than I have now or will ever be able to.

Creation doesn’t care because succeeding at the perfect pastry creme (ongoing) or developing a perfect gluten-free pasta (starting this week) is its own reward.

I continue to struggle daily with the feeling that my writing is not good enough and doesn’t matter, and I continue to try and do it anyway. I am learning, and this is always good.

And frustrating and infuriating and slow. 

But still.

Creation is its own reward. That, and a spicy pumpkin doughnut. Made especially for my oldest friend in the world, Kerry.

Yes, I know. Two doughnut recipes in a week. 

But Saturday we went thrift store shopping, and after tasting my apple cider doughnut, Kerry requested a pumpkin doughnut. Today is National Pumpkin Pie Day, a made-up holiday if there ever was one, but certainly better than celebrating the impending doom of 1.5 million indigenous people on this day in 1492 (or thereabouts). Other sources say it’s National Pumpkin Day or National Pumpkin Cheesecake Day, so split the difference and make these.

Kerry has been with me for my most joyful and tragic moments. Also some of my most drunken and ridiculous, which were sometimes connected to the most joyful moments. From in-school suspension together in middle school for a “food fight” consisting of throwing one piece of corn to midnight rides to being one of the first to arrive when my husband died in 2013 and the only friend to drop everything at the death of my father, Kerry has been in it with me from nearly as long as I can remember, not only listening to my stories but also creating a few right along with me. 

Seems like a doughnut is a small thing to ask for, yes?

This doughnut is for Kerry, the person who, no matter how ridiculous they are, not only always wants to hear all my stories but also wants All. The. Details.

Share this with a friend who is like this, then tell me all about them in the comments below.

Spicy Pumpkin Doughnuts

Ingredients

Doughnuts:
2 eggs
1 stick butter, room temperature
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup milk
1 tsp. vinegar 
1/2 cup pumpkin puree (NOT pie filling)
3 tsp. vanilla extract (you could also do a maple extract here)
1 3/4 cups gluten-free all-purpose flour blend
1/4 cup oat flour OR almond meal
1/2 tsp. xanthan gum (optional if your blend already has it. I use it anyway) 
2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
1 T ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp. salt 
1 tsp ginger 
1/2 tsp. ground clove 
1/2 tsp. allspice
1 tsp. ground nutmeg
1/4 tsp. cloves

Topping:
1 stick melted butter
1/2 cup sugar 
1 T cinnamon 1/2 tsp each ground ginger, clove, nutmeg, and allspice


Method:

Preheat oven to 400 and grease two doughnut pans (either full size or mini).

Before you begin, combine the milk and the vinegar to make a buttermilk, of sorts. I chose this method over purchasing buttermilk because most people don’t have buttermilk handy. If you do, feel free to substitute 1/2 cup of buttermilk. If not, add the vinegar to the milk and let sit for 10 minutes.

In a small bowl, combine the following dry ingredients: flours, baking soda and powder, salt, and spices.

In a medium bowl or stand mixer, cream the butter and sugar together until fluffy. Add eggs and beat, then add vanilla, milk mixture, and pumpkin puree. Beat until combined, then add the flour and continuing mixing until it is smooth (just a minute or two).

If you have a pastry bag, use that to pipe the batter into the waiting doughnut tins. If not, scoop the batter into a Ziploc baggie, snip off a corner, and use that to pipe the batter into the tins. Fill about halfway up.

Bake for eight to ten minutes. Doughnuts are ready when they spring back from a light touch.

Turn out onto a wire rack. As soon as they are just cool enough to handle, dip each doughnut into melted butter and then roll in spicy sugar mixture. 

These may keep, but I have no experience with them lasting past noon on the day they are made, so let me know if they do.

Recipe notes:

  • Doughnuts are just as delicious without the sugar topping, and you can also just use it for the top if you want to keep sugar in check.
  • Initially I planned on frosting these with a cream cheese frosting instead of the sugar did not. That’s the next iteration.



Quick Links: Fall Cocktails

This cocktail is called a Hanky Panky. For realz. (image source)

It’s the most wonderful time of year.

Decorative gourd season is in full swing, yes, but I am talking about delicious, satisfying, spice-filled fall cocktail season. 

No, they are not all apple or pumpkin-spiced, but those certainly have their place on this list. Here are delicious cocktails to try as the leaves come a-tumblin’ down.

Jamaican Coffee: While this link purports to have been written in the summer, in my book, boozy after-dinner coffee is a full-frontal-fall experience. Feel free to play with ratios, depending on if it’s a school night or not.

Caramel Apple Martini: I don’t give a rat’s ass if this recipe makes me a girl. I LOVE CARAMEL APPLES. I could roll around in them. This drink is dangerous for me because it is SO GOOD.

SEE? YOU MADE ME USE ALL CAPS.

Tantes Medicine: Because fall means back to school and the entry into a festering petri dish of germy children, one must have a go-to healing cocktail. This is that. Feel free to change up the tea if Earl Grey is not your thing. Bergamot isn’t for everyone.

Chipotle Cherry Bourbon Smash: This beautiful beverage comes courtesy of Bit By A Fox, a website all about drinking and drinks. I appreciated a well-crafted libation, and this cocktail fits the bill. I made some brandied cherries back in late June when sour cherries were at their luscious peak, and now is a good time to see how they are doing. 

I feel like I might just spend all weekend trying out these cocktails. A hurricane is as good an excuse as any to get loaded, I suppose. Might as well do it with a fancy cocktail. 

What’s your fall beverage of choice?

Waffles: Easy Like Sunday Morning. And Afternoon

Pillowy goodness, all Sunday long. (image source)

I don’t know what it is about Sunday.

When I wake up on Sunday, I have no plans past coffee. The paper shows up on the doorstep, I ignore my computer, let the dogs out, and drink coffee on the back porch with them as they greet the world.

This is the Sabbath to me. A true day of rest that begins with simple pleasures. The Teenager and I used to turn all screens off on Sundays, but with school in full effect (and football season underway), that’s not always possible. So we aim for a minimum of social media and focus on the real world.

In general, all of the striving and stress and work of the week is done for me, and I look forward to a long day of nothing.

Except waffles.

Pancakes and muffins are for Saturdays, but Sunday means waffles.

Crispy on the outside, soft and steamy on the inside. I eat the first one off the iron with my hands before the lid is even closed on the second one. Drenched in maple syrup, spread with Nutella, or oozing with homemade apple butter. Sometimes, truthfully, delightfully plain. It is brunch-y goodness.

But here’s my recent discovery: play your cards right, and you can eat waffles all day long. One recipe, minor modifications, and you have brunch and football snacks all in one. 

Regular sweet waffles in the morning with whatever toppings make you feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Then in the afternoon? What about the afternoon?

Chicken and waffles, friend.

Someone has actually looked into the history of chicken and waffles, but all you really need to know is this: it is pretty much the best thing you can put in your face on a Sunday afternoon. I like mine with a fried chicken breast (easier to eat, and ease is the rule. Purists insist on the bone. I do not.), a copious drizzle of honey-sriracha sauce, and pickled banana peppers or onions or maybe an apple slaw with vinegar and jalapeno. 

None of these things take long to make. Five minutes, max, made while the waffles are cooking.

Easy like Sunday morning. And afternoon. As it should be.

Basic waffles

As ever, this recipe is gluten-free, but you can certainly use gluten-packed regular all-purpose flour if you’d like. 

Ingredients

2 cups gluten-free all-purpose flour blend
1/2 tsp. salt
1 T sugar (use 2 T if you are skipping the savory recipe)
3 tsp. baking powder
1 1/2 cups milk
2 eggs, beaten
4 T oil (you can use butter, melted and cooled, but oil is easier)
1 tsp vanilla (sweet version only)

In a medium bowl, mix the first four ingredients (the dry). In a small bowl, combine the last four ingredients (including vanilla if you are only having sweet waffles) and mix until totally combined. Add the wet to dry ingredients and stir until they are no longer lumpy.  I use a whisk and beat out any remaining frustrations from the week. #Smile #Breathe

SAVORY VARIATION

At this point, if you are planning on waffles for brunch and chicken and waffles for football snacks, move half of the waffle batter to a separate container and add 2 T chopped chives or scallions (chives give a less intense zing) and a generous grind or three of black pepper. 

Optional: up to one cup of grated cheese of your choosing. Cheese for me is gilding the lily, so I wouldn’t use it for chicken and waffles. Maybe with a burger and a fried egg. 

Cook the waffles according to the directions on your waffle maker (they all vary, so me giving directions for mine is pointless. You know your own tools, so go with your instincts on this one). Cook the sweet waffles first, then the savory. In my waffle maker, this makes six to eight waffles, depending on how diligent I am with getting equal amounts ladled for each waffle.

When it’s time for chicken and waffles, here are a few tips:

  • Set up a breading station. Pat the chicken breasts dry. Dip into cornstarch, then a beaten egg, then a mixture of gluten-free all-purpose flour (or almond meal is delicious here) that is seasoned with salt and pepper. Let sit in the ‘fridge while the oil heats.
  • Keep frying oil at 350 degrees. This ensures a crisp coating AND cooked chicken.
  • A medium-sized chicken breast takes between ten and 15 minutes to cook. I am not above cutting one open to check. I find taking an internal temperature to be a messy and dangerous proposition, so I do a visual check.

Serve these with a sauce that is equal parts honey and sriracha, or try a sauce of yogurt, Dijon mustard, and a touch of honey. Or drizzle the whole thing with maple syrup. #YourChoice

What’s your Sunday go-to for brunch and football?

Risotto: A Meditation

Become one with the spoon. (Image source)

In a twist that will surprise no one, I love risotto. Which is sort of strange because I don’t have it that often, but when I do I wonder why I don’t have it Every. Single. Night. 

I guess I forget about risotto as a dinner option, reaching instead for pasta or long-grain rice and the rice cooker.  #Easy

But here’s the thing: risotto is also very, very easy.

Deceptively simple, even.

That silky sauce that appears as you stir and stir and stir. 

Ignore those silly people who say you don’t have to stir. I have tried this, letting it sit and stirring “occasionally,” but the cooking experience is not the same, and worse, the risotto is not the same. Plus this: it’s okay to take 15 minutes to yourself. Blame it on the risotto. 

Remember this:

“When you have time, meditate for 15 minutes. When you don’t have time, meditate for an hour.” ~Zen saying~

“Alternately, take those 15 minutes and make them your Zen-loving bitch by multi-tasking a crisp glass of wine, a little meditative stirring, and a delicious dinner at the end.” ~Me~

The decadent finish of butter. The tiny crunch in the very center of each grain of arborio rice, true al dente.

Easy.

Use fresh, seasonal ingredients. Make your own stock (or buy it if you must, but be picky). Don’t forget the wine (in the pot and in the chef).

Free, Loose, And Easy Risotto (serves 4-6)

Mise en place, baby. Do it like you own it.

First, soffrito. This can be any combination of the following (but is at least the first): chopped onion, garlic cloves, leeks, shallots, carrot. Chop small (carrot, onion, shallot, celery), slice thinly (leek, white part only), or mince (garlic).

Next, measure your arborio rice, two cups.

Heat six to eight cups of stock. Use chicken, vegetable, beef, veal, seafood (so delicious with the seafood variation below).

Pour the wine. Half a cup of dry white wine for the risotto, a full glass for the chef. You can also use dry vermouth and pour yourself a different cocktail (any bourbon cocktail will do, but The Expat is lovely, especially with the seafood or squash risotto below. And because BOURBON.)

Salt and pepper should be within easy reach, as should a finishing generous tablespoon of butter. You will need some olive oil, the good kind, because with so few ingredients quality matters.

Basic method

Heat several tablespoons of olive oil in a sauté pan. Add your soffrito and sauté until onions are translucent.

Add the arborio rice and toast, stirring, until each grain browns slightly and becomes covered with a glorious sheen of oil. Add more oil if you need it. Don’t skimp.

Settle in. Turn on the radio. Sip your cocktail.

Add the 1/2 cup of wine to the pot. Stir until the wine begins to disappear. Happy rice.

Begin to add your warmed stock, one ladle at time. Stir. When each ladle of stock is nearly absorbed (but don’t let it dry out), add another ladle. Stir. Repeat. Stir.

This is when meditation begins. As you add each ladle of stock, bubbles hiss and pop and steam rises. The rice swells with joy and dances in the pan. I sink into a pattern of stirring, swirling around the sides with my spoon in a clockwise pattern, occasionally darting through the middle.

You will know it is nearly done when your Teenaged Daughter crawls out of the cave of her room and hovers over your shoulder.

No teenagers at home? Look for the rice to slow down its rate of absorption. There will be a lingering creaminess to the sauce, and each grain will be nearly cooked all the way through except for the tiniest bit of bite in the center. 

Don’t guess. TASTE.

When the risotto has the texture of something far more complicated than it is, remove from the heat and stir in the butter. Add salt and pepper. Taste. 

Serve in bowls with cracked black pepper and fresh Parmesan. Not the crap in the green can. What are we: animals?

Simple.

If you feel a bit more complicated, the following can be easily made with a minimum of fuss.

Shrimp/Scallop Risotto: Sauté eight ounces each of cleaned shelled shrimp and scallops in olive oil, then remove from the pan. Proceed with a soffrito of onion, and celery. Use seafood stock for the risotto, and finish with fresh chopped parsley.

Butternut Squash and Sage Risotto: Peel, seed, and cut a one-pound (or a little more) butternut squash into 1/2″  cubes. Add butternut squash into a soffrito of onion, celery, and one clove of garlic and proceed with the recipe. Towards the end, before the butter, stir in one tablespoon chopped fresh sage. Finish as usual. 

Mushroom Pancetta Risotto: Add a sprig of rosemary to your warming stock (any kind of stock will do, but you will not use the rosemary in the actual risotto). Sauté four ounces of pancetta until crispy, then remove from the pan. Add 12 ounces of wild mushrooms (your choice) and cook in the fat of the pancetta (don’t crowd the pan or they will not brown. They will steam). Remove from the pan and proceed with onion, garlic, carrot soffrito.

What is your favorite kitchen meditation?