Tag: snacks

Chocolate Salami

Not what you’d expect, and everything you didn’t know you wanted.

Ho-ho-ho, bitches. The holidays are in full swing, and you couldn’t get off this train if you wanted to. Might as well lean in, call up a friend, and go hang out. Bring this as a snack, and all will be right with the world. It’s perfect for that liminal space between Christmas and New Year’s, when time is elastic and nobody knows what day it is.

I used this recipe, with some modifications.

  • Gluten-free animal crackers took the place of shortbread, and crispy rice was also gluten-free
  • I used unsweetened dried cherries from Chukar Cherries in Washington. I could take a bath in these things.
  • I have a kitchen scale so I utilized the weight measurements, but if you don’t they translate into about a cup each of the fruits and nuts
  • Mise en place makes the recipe come together very quickly
  • In hindsight, I would make two salamis. One was awfully big and difficult to handle.

(Insert off-color sexual innuendo here)

Serves 1-? depending on how long the conversation goes, how freely the drinks flow, and how many like white chocolate. Next variation will utilize dark chocolate and a different variety of fruit and nuts and be equally delicious.

Holiday Snacks: Toasted Cashew Hummus

From the very source.

Full disclosure: I am not a huge fan of regular hummus; it is somehow rather pushy, and I get sick of it after a few bites. But when my friend served up this incredible dip (and let me take a picture of her recipe), I was a wee bit converted. This stuff is AMAZING. Like, so creamy and delicious, with the cashews elevated by their brief sojourn in the oven. The spice is subtle and balanced, and people of all dietary stripes can dive in without reservations.

This hummus, though. THIS. it’s more of a sly wink than a gaping leer. And it was seductive as hell.

Toasted Cashew Hummus

Note: Make this hummus at least a day in advance, refrigerate, then allow to come to room temperature before serving.

Ingredients

1 cup jumbo cashews, roasted in sea salt

2 garlic cloves

3/4 cup water

1/4 cup tahini

2 tablespoons fresh lime juice

1 teaspoon ground cumin

1 can chickpeas, rinsed and drained

2 teaspoons chopped fresh cilantro

Method

Preheat oven to 350 degrees

Spread cashews in a shallow baking pan and toast for approximately seven minutes, stirring occasionally. Cool.

Pulse garlic in food processor until minced. Add all other ingredients, including cashews, and mix until smooth. Chill overnight, then bring to room temperature and serve with chopped cilantro.

I like it with anything gluten-free, but it’s hummus, for god’s sake, and should not be taken too seriously.

Snacks On A Birthday: Blistered Shishito Pimento Cheese

Khristian Weeks (l.), the birthday boy, pictured here with his collaborative partner, Peter.

So it’s October 1st, and it’s Khristian’s birthday.

This is a short blog with something delicious, easy, and celebratory. I like to make Bon Appetit’s seedy oat crackers to serve this with, but seriously. You could eat this any old way and be perfectly happy.

And in other news, this will be the last post here for a bit. I have some other things to focus on, and I may shift away from maintaining a food blog. I will keep cooking and posting recipes on Instagram (@charmcityedibles), so go on over there and follow along.

In the meantime, make this for someone you love.

Blistered Shishito Pimento Cheese
Use this as a dip with crackers or vegetables, or make a grilled cheese with it. Or any other way you might use an insanely delicious cheese dip.

Ingredients
2 cups shredded cheddar cheese (see Recipe Notes)
8 ounces cream cheese, softened
¼ to ½ cup mayonnaise (NOT Miracle Whip, for chrissakes)
½ teaspoon dry mustard
¼ to ½ teaspoon cayenne pepper
½ teaspoon onion powder
½ cup chopped blistered (and cooled) shishito peppers (see Recipe Notes)
1 jalapeño pepper, diced fine
½ teaspoon celery seed

Method
Couldn’t be easier. Mix all of the above together and taste. Add more of what you like, going slowly with the spice.

Chill for at least a couple of hours before serving. Keeps for at least a week in the ‘fridge if it lasts that long.

Recipe Notes
• I like to shred my cheeses fine using a food processor, and I use a mix of white and orange cheddar, one extra sharp and one just sharp. This is largely a matter of preference, and I would actually prefer all white cheddar but most people think bright orange when they think of pimento cheese, and I like to give the people what they want.

• To blister shishito peppers, a cast-iron skillet is the tool of choice but not strictly necessary. Over medium-high heat, heat a tablespoon of oil in the frying pan of choice (I used non-stick), then toss the peppers (intact, with the stems on) in the oil. Season with salt and pepper and give a stir to coat with oil, then leave them alone for minutes at a time. You are looking for charring in spots, so let them sit. Toss after a couple of minutes, then let them sit. Peppers are done when they are tender-crisp with burnt looking parts. Remove from heat and squeeze a little lemon juice on them. Eat a bunch of them, but save six or seven for pimento cheese.

• You can also use a jar of pimentos, drained and chopped. I just happened to have shishitos.

Roy Choi’s Instant Ramen, Tarted Up

Seriously? Don’t hate. This. Is. AMAZING.

It’s hot, and I just made Roy Choi’s instant ramen anyway.

Yes, that is a pat of butter in the top left.

Yes, that is two slices of American cheese.

Yes, I used GF ramen and organic American cheese. Pretty sure that doesn’t matter.

This bowl is LYFE, people.

Get the recipe here and get this ramen in your life.

Thank you, Roy Choi. I am forever in your debt.

Life Doesn’t Stand Up To Thinking: Roasted Beet Dip With Feta And Aleppo Pepper Crackers

“Life doesn’t stand up to thinking. Smell the air out there; there are wonders.”

Are You Here with Owen Wilson and Zach Galifianakis is an unexpectedly serious movie that tricked me into thinking it would be a light-hearted bromance when really it was a meditation on the uselessness of life.

Welcome to blog, first-time readers. #KeepComingBack

Galifianakis’s character is a bipolar paranoid schizophrenic who inherits everything after his father’s death but is too crazy to know what to do with it. When a troubled Amish boy who hears voices from God tells Galifianakis that God wants him to take his medicine, Galifianakis does. He realizes, quickly, that life is filled with no purpose and is pointless. His stepmother consoles him:

“Life doesn’t stand up to thinking. Smell the air out there; there are wonders.”

And that’s just how things go, right? There is really no point. Anyone who says they have figured out life isn’t thinking too hard. Mostly they are going along with what everyone else is doing and are reasonably satisfied with their life and just sort of sink into the idea that their life is what The Purpose of Life is.

Except that’s kind of bullshit.

There is no purpose. There are diversions, to be sure, and good things to get into, just like there are tragedies and overwhelming sadness and horrible people in the world.

There is no point. Life doesn’t just stand up to thinking.

If you can get from birth to death without hurting people on purpose while also voting every two years (and in special elections) and loving some people real good and maybe making something beautiful once or twice, then that’s pretty much it.

But still, this gives you no license to waste it. When the biology of schizophrenia begins to clear, Galifianakis says of his approach to life, “I wasted so much. I gobbled it all down without tasting it.”

It’s hard to know what “wasting” your life means, really. If you choose to not pursue money or status too lustily and to instead count the grains of sand on a beach or write or paint or work temp jobs or travel your whole life, many in the U.S. would call that “wasting your life.”

Add to the list of life-wasting things (at least in the culture of the U.S.):

  • Not going to college
  • Not having children
  • Not paying into retirement
  • Not buying a house
  • Not having a “career”
  • Not donating money or volunteering regularly

I am sure you can add some of your own. Anything that doesn’t fit the mold is often considered by someone as a “wasted” life. But consider, as one always should, Mary Oliver:

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean–
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down —
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
With your one wild and precious life?

~The Summer Day~’

Indeed. Everything dies at last, and too soon.

Everything, from the bees to the flowers to the humans, will wilt, wither, and die in the sunshine or the snow. We are all of us just passing through.

This is, to me, a horribly debilitating and incredibly liberating understanding, all at once. We only get the one life that we know of, so there’s a ton of pressure to NOT FUCK IT UP.

But what the hell does that mean? And truly, who is keeping score? Who is the person who gets to tell us we are fucking it all up?

So there’s this idea, the liberated side of the Pointlessness of Life: do what you like.

Seriously.

Of course, not to the exclusion of caring for the children you foolishly brought into the world or hurting other people or otherwise being a douche.

But otherwise, why the hell not? Why not do what you like? You can’t take anything with you – even the memory of you will fade.

Spoiler alert: NO ONE WILL REMEMBER YOU, EVENTUALLY. And really? That’s just fine. Whatever mark we think we make will be erased in the unrelenting pressure of geologic time.

Life doesn’t stand up to thinking or reason, so just get out into the world and see what there is to see. And actually spend some time paying attention. It’s not about ticking boxes off a bucket list. It’s more about being present wherever you happen to be, placing yourself in the way of beauty and discovering what it feels like to experience awe.

Give it a shot. What the hell. We are all on our way out anyway.

You will, of course, need snacks.

This summer I am committed to the idea of what Sicily refers to as a “French Nibbler.” (TM) I have no idea where this name came from but it’s hilarious so I am using it and since this blog is in no way monetized and I have just given her credit I think we are all okay.

French Nibblers consist of finger-foodish things for dinner, set out on an appropriately beautiful, bespoke, foraged wooden board with period-authentic utensils for spreads and such.

That’s the Instagram bullshit. I am thinking more along the lines of whatever comes in the CSA, some homemade crackers, a few dips, some cured meats for the carnivores, and a couple cheeses. Serve with canned wine from Old Westminster Winery and snack on dinner as the sun goes down. Nothing to clean up, really, and no need to turn on the stove. You could pack all of it up and take it on a picnic, too. Something simple that doesn’t really require a ton of thought and satisfies all different types of people.

As with life, don’t gobble this down without tasting it.

Roasted Beet Dip With Feta And Aleppo Pepper Crackers

This recipe is the first of a series of dips. Adding this luscious, earthy, subtle, and complex spread to any French Nibbler gets you a double-plus Life Bonus. #SpendYourPointsWisely

Beet Dip Ingredients

4 beets (about the size of baseballs)

Pickling liquid: 1 cup water, 2/3 cup sugar, 1/3 cup vinegar

Peppercorns, a smattering (that’s a measurement)

4-6 sprigs thyme

2 whole cloves garlic, smashed to peel and left that way

1/2 cup toasted pecans

Cracked black pepper

4 ounces Feta cheese (plus more for serving)

2 tsp. champagne vinegar

Olive oil, good quality (Don’t. Skimp.)

Salt

Aleppo Pepper Crackers Ingredients

Everyday Crackers

ADD-INS: 1 tsp Aleppo pepper, 2 tsp sumac

Method

Okay, I lied. You do need to turn the oven on and use the stove, but just once. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Place two beets (washed but unpeeled), two smashed garlic cloves, and one sprig of thyme in aluminum foil. Drizzle with olive oil. Loosely close foil and place on baking sheet. Roast in oven until a fork easily pierces the beets (about 60 minutes). Remove from oven and cool.

Toast pecans using the residual heat from the oven. Place pecans on a baking sheet and place in hot, turned off oven. Check periodically and remove when they taste delicious (this time will vary, but it’s not rocket science. If they taste good, they are done).

While beets are roasting, peel remaining two beets and cut into matchsticks.

For god’s sake, use gloves. #YouWereWarned

Pack beets, peppercorns, and one sprig of thyme into a Mason jar.

In a saucepan over medium heat, bring pickling liquid ingredients to a boil. Pour over beets and let beets cool on the counter. Refrigerate.

Once roasted beets are cool, use a paper towel to rub the skin off the beet. Give up after a while and use a paring knife to peel the rest of the skin off. Cut into large chunks and place into a food processor. Add one (or both) cloves of roasted garlic, roasted pecans, 1 teaspoon of fresh thyme, 4 ounces of feta, and champagne vinegar. Process until smooth-ish. Add some best-quality olive oil to help it along. It need not be baby-food smooth.

Add salt and fresh cracked black pepper to taste, and adjust to your taste. Beets are not all the same, so they may need more or less sweetness or acid, a pinch or two more or less salt.

Remember your quick-pickled beets? Grab a handful of those and chop them roughly. Stir into your beet dip and also serve on the side. Top with more feta and maybe some chopped pecans if you have any left.

Make a batch of Everyday Crackers, using the Aleppo pepper and sumac as add-ins, or just buy some damn crackers. It’s not a contest. You will be fine.

Recipe notes

  • Substitutions: yellow beets or carrots even would work here. Rough carrots may benefit from the addition of honey.
  • You will be able to taste the olive oil, so really, use the best you can find/afford/have in your cabinet.
  • Whip up a batch of Toasted Cashew Hummus and be done with it (and really, the hero to all of your friends or whoever is joining you for dinner).
  • Use your leftover pickled beets as part of the French Nibbler or drape over burgers with goat cheese or in salads with chickpeas.

Tell me: what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?